Posts Tagged ‘the introvert advantage’

Myth 1:  Introverts despise communication.
Well if you’re reading this blog, than that myth has already been partially busted. Introverts will not engage you in a conversation for the sake of it. Majority (since nothing is 100% certain) will initiate a conversation sincerely and only if a circumstance requires that they must. However; initiate a conversation with certain degree of insight and without blatant ignorance and they will happily engage you for days.

 Myth 2: Introverts hate small talk

This myth is greatly being exaggerated. On the contrary, introverts like small talk. We do it all the time especially with those in our inner circus. However, it is very likely that the choice of subject and timing is wholly inappropriate especially; if the subject of choice is associated with ones intended sexual conquest, night club antics or demeaning views. Opinion and behaviour backed up with good reasoning will earn you listening time from us and save you from our damnation.

 Myth 3: Introverts are shy by nurture.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not afraid of interacting with others, they simply need a reason to do so. (See myth 1) However, if you want to engage an introvert in a conversation, simply engage them and don’t worry about being polite, just don’t be ignorant in your opinion.

 Myth 4: Introverts despise people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value those they consider true friends . They simply appreciate certain trait (each to their own) of which they hold dear, possessed by the few they’ve come across. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

 Myth 5: Introverts do not like public outing.
Says who:  Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth 6: Introverts always want to be alone

Nonsense. No human being desires eternal loneliness. Such desire is the result of an unfortunate experience triggered directly and indirectly by a third-party.  Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts and are commonly daydreamers. They enjoy problem solving task and can get lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

 Myth 7: Introverts are Rude.
Introverts are not crowd pleaser and think for themselves. As a result they would often challenge perceived norm. When they choose to take a stand; they are at their best intellectually. Those threatened often perceive this as rudeness due to their authority being challenge. Also introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries however when they do, they do mean it. So don’t fish for one and just by real.

Myth 8: Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, most introvert are already too familiar with developments around them it becomes less stimulating and fulfilling.

Myth 9: Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Well, If there is anything introverts do extremely well, relaxing certainly would be it. Since they spend so much time re-energizing and relaxing (see my previous blog titled “In solitude we dwell). As for having fun, i say fun is what you make it. One man’s fun is another man’s trial. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies nor are extroverts however they will try something’s at least once for the experience. Fun is what you make of it..

Myth 10: Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. They certainly would appreciate it if they ae appreciated for their novel way of living.

Feel free to leave a comment, like my blog etc

Stay True, Stay Proud, Stay Introverted


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Here is a recent question from a reader on her besotted love for an introverted stranger.. All suggestions are welcomed..


I think i’m in love with an introvert.. He is very quite and intelligent but certainly not shy as i know some of his friends. In the 3 yrs we’ve cross path, all he has ever said to me is: hi, how was your day?and goodbye! Being an extroverts, i have never had any difficulties approaching anyone.. But, it has become a challenge with him.. when he’s around i can’t bring myself to engage him in a conversation. We bump into one another once every 2 weeks randomly and he’s currently not involved with anyone…. Any insightful advice would be greatly appreciated.


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Unlike many things in life, introverts largely do not like DRAMAS. They despise it so much so; they would apologies at the slightest indication of pending conflict or trouble and even do as they are told just to keep the peace. It is a trend that has become so startling and common place at work, home, social gatherings and schools. From choosing an holiday location, deciding on what to eat,  group gathering, deciding on what to do, feuding (refuse to take sides with) friends/family or partner.

It’s astonishing, the sacrifices they would make just to prolong that blissful silence and to keep those who grace their company happy. It’s like being caught between a Lion and a Tiger, with the requirement to decide who’s claws  death would be less tragic while wondering what would become of you should you put a foot wrong.

A sense of surrender becomes the only option when faced with upsetting someone; otherwise they are left with an overwhelming sense of guilt even sometime in situations that is of know importance to them. Even Just having a solution to a problem without sharing it acts as a trigger.              

      GUILT!! acquired within reason is understandable. But GUILT for most introverts takes a whole new meaning. They hold being considerate(helpful whenever they can)  and respectful so dearly that when they fall to fulfil that principle/idea, they a riddled with guilt; guilt so powerful and overwhelming that it eats into the very fabric of their being. So overwhelming it last for hours, days, weeks and even months at lengths. However, having spoken to a various individual about this subject over the years, I’ve come realise that even those closer to home are as guilty of manipulating those of us that possess such temperament; directly and indirectly for their sole benefits knowing full well the individual is likely to oblige or succumb to their tricks through a sense of guilt. As for those who are unaware of this innate temperament of introverts, their perception becomes passive ignorance or  commonly becomes associated with stereotype.

Just imagine the number of times at work you’ve been specifically asked to carry out a task which is certainly not of your expertise or job description or still conducting an on-going task while others are standing around doing nothing/ chit-chatting or the number of times a favour has been sought from you under false premise.

Overriding oneselves from this feeling is the ultimate first step in discovering a new dawn. To be successful, one has to be tactful as not to compromise their innate nurture. The solution i found; is what i commonly refer to as my “introverted double. Its like a 3 strike window opportunity before being introduced to my introverted double (The intolerable me  – More on that later).

I found the approach so effective the feeling of overwhelming guilt  subsided. This i believe is due partly because being an introvert that i am; i see how circumstances can easily influence once action and how prone we (the human race) are to misjudgement and mistakes influenced directly and indirectly by circumstance within and outside our control; so much so that i consider a three windows of opportunities before putting my feet down ultimately. Though i must admit, sometimes i still harbour some guilt after its all done and dusted. But unlike before the actions of my introverted double is now a necessity and the outcome reflects that necessity. Whether it includes telling somebody off (and deservedly so) or dealing with corporate organisation/institute over a dispute. Those same subjects/organization eventually sees the error of their ways; becoming more friendlier, polite and talkative in their dealings with me thereafter. Of course there are time when silence is just as effective, but that is rarely the case in this city of mine.

Now! my point here is NOT to discourage anyone from helping those in genuine needs under genuine circumstances or to discourage anyone from being nice (to the few which this term applies); but to highlight a common trait predominantly associated with introverts or anyone else and reinforce the need to work towards breaking that overwhelming feeling of guilty conscience (guilt if i do, guilt of i don’t” feelings). Also to reinforce the message that being considerate, respectful, polite, compassionate and quite should not be misconstrued as weakness and the subject open for exploitation, because without these trait society will be a grim place to exist.

Until Then

Stay True, Stay Proud & Stay Introverted.

The Introvert Lounge

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Welcome to The Introverts Lounge. Here at the Lounge we aspire to establish a community for knowledgeable, talented, insightful, passionate and understanding yet easily misunderstood introverts.   

While introversion has been studied by those who dare to understand and in turn, have contributed to our understanding of Introversion today, we at The Introverts Lounge view strongly that there is no better expert on the subject of Introversion in today’s society than introverts themselves.

Introversion knows no boundaries. It identifies with no country, continent, culture, race, gender or age.  It is a way of life and who we are. It is identified by various characteristics in every one of us, but embedded to the extreme in a few of us.

These are the few that are misunderstood in society today dominated by our opposite number (the extroverts) to the point of social stigmatization which often leads to misconstrued views, alienation and stereotypical approaches.

The aim of introverts Lounge is:

  • To positively identify and reinforce the very unique nature of introverts through a journey of understanding and self discovery.
  • To establish an outlet in detail of an alternative way of living from an introverts prospective in so doing educating our opposite number (extroverts), while gaining valuable insight into their complex world.
  • Ultimately, to promote our co-existence with some degree of compromise through understanding, respect and the absence of condescension.

The Introverts Lounge hopes that by collectively working with fellow introverts, we will set the record straight on the various clichés about introverts in our society today while assisting and educating those who seek answers to life’s little dilemmas.

Furthermore, while this remains a blog for the time being. We hope to gradually introduce relevant articles over the next few weeks. The Introverts Lounge team plans to introduce a website in the early new year 2012 which will run alongside the blog providing comprehensive information on issues that matters to you most…. The lounge is a work in progress!! Together, lets embark on a Journey…

With Regards

The Introverts Lounge Team

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