Posts Tagged ‘solitudes’

 “In Solitude We Dwell” This was my response to a recent question  about why introverts choose to be alone.  imageHaving heard this question on numerous occasion, it appears that this misconstrued view that introverts do not appreciate the company of others and therefore are lonely is stereotypical. Such is the ignorance that accompany the perception that i felt the need to address this common myth.  Firstly, how would I define “Loneliness ”. In my view; Loneliness is a state of mind directly and indirectly brought about by an unpleasant experience. This state of mind can be triggered by various events and without mentioning the obvious once but the most commonly ignored; amongst others is “faithlessness” which can bring about “spiritual loneliness”. This form of loneliness is commonly ignored when altered within the public discourse of which physical and emotional form of loneliness take precedence yet upon reflection many will agree that it pose the greatest hurdle of all. My intention is not to attribute significance to the various forms of loneliness mentioned here but to merely state that one cannot be labelled “a loner” without first identifying the root cause of that loneliness. To do so, one must become familiar with the various form of loneliness and how it manifest itself within every individual.  However, simply labelling an individual a loner on the basis of excusing themselves from attending a social gathering is plain stupid no matter how frequently they declined such invitation.

Solving ones loneliness does not necessarily require being in the company of others as to certify it’s absence as commonly perceived. In fact, after being the subject of an unpleasant experience most individual make that choice to remain isolated (a form of defence mechanism)while reflecting on the event that led to the unfortunate experience. The continuous experience of this state of mind can be brief or extensive depending on the severity and magnitude of the events thus correlates to the mental toughness of the individual. In brief; loneliness entails longing for companionship either emotionally, physically(some cases) or spiritually of which anyone can become a victim.

However, request by introverts for lone time does not equate an absolute desire for loneliness and where granted, nor does it implies a sustained periods of inactivity. But rather an opportunity to reinvigorate themselves, reflect and gain prospective on the issues that are of importance to them.

One would be seriously mistaken to assume that they spend all their time doing nothing. But; most introvert spends a great deal of time making use of their imagination during which their ultimate aim is not the search for answers nor companionship. But rather, its a form of meditation unknown to most which involves bringing alive vivid imagination of an experience/dreams deeply desired. For most introverts, this experience is realised only in solitude. The effect can be profound; lasting hours, days or even weeks, impacting on their mood, attitude and wellbeing in a positive way. For  introverts like myself, my capacity to understand, forgive, love and cherish comes from my ability to reflect deeply while acknowledging the vulnerabilities/error of our ways(Human Race) and in solitude this capacity is greatly enhanced.

Are introverts Lonely?,  Far from it!! Majority of those i have meet are extremely comfortable in their own skin, confident, imaginative, witty  and do like small talks as long as it doesn’t revolves around the obvious subject which polarize society today.

                 Here are some tips on how to engage an introverts in a conversation: Be imaginative, be opinionated with reasons, be yourself, treat others the way you want to be treated and that means be considerate and polite in the first instance (a core principle all introverts known to me holds dearly).

Remember, He who seeketh an audience with me; if granted; claimeth not a right to that audience, for I granted thee that Privilege.. R.E.(Ruky)

Or in Solitude let us dwell…!!!

Stay True, Stay Proud, Stay Introverted

The Introverts Lounge


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