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 “In Solitude We Dwell” This was my response to a recent question  about why introverts choose to be alone.  imageHaving heard this question on numerous occasion, it appears that this misconstrued view that introverts do not appreciate the company of others and therefore are lonely is stereotypical. Such is the ignorance that accompany the perception that i felt the need to address this common myth.  Firstly, how would I define “Loneliness ”. In my view; Loneliness is a state of mind directly and indirectly brought about by an unpleasant experience. This state of mind can be triggered by various events and without mentioning the obvious once but the most commonly ignored; amongst others is “faithlessness” which can bring about “spiritual loneliness”. This form of loneliness is commonly ignored when altered within the public discourse of which physical and emotional form of loneliness take precedence yet upon reflection many will agree that it pose the greatest hurdle of all. My intention is not to attribute significance to the various forms of loneliness mentioned here but to merely state that one cannot be labelled “a loner” without first identifying the root cause of that loneliness. To do so, one must become familiar with the various form of loneliness and how it manifest itself within every individual.  However, simply labelling an individual a loner on the basis of excusing themselves from attending a social gathering is plain stupid no matter how frequently they declined such invitation.

Solving ones loneliness does not necessarily require being in the company of others as to certify it’s absence as commonly perceived. In fact, after being the subject of an unpleasant experience most individual make that choice to remain isolated (a form of defence mechanism)while reflecting on the event that led to the unfortunate experience. The continuous experience of this state of mind can be brief or extensive depending on the severity and magnitude of the events thus correlates to the mental toughness of the individual. In brief; loneliness entails longing for companionship either emotionally, physically(some cases) or spiritually of which anyone can become a victim.

However, request by introverts for lone time does not equate an absolute desire for loneliness and where granted, nor does it implies a sustained periods of inactivity. But rather an opportunity to reinvigorate themselves, reflect and gain prospective on the issues that are of importance to them.

One would be seriously mistaken to assume that they spend all their time doing nothing. But; most introvert spends a great deal of time making use of their imagination during which their ultimate aim is not the search for answers nor companionship. But rather, its a form of meditation unknown to most which involves bringing alive vivid imagination of an experience/dreams deeply desired. For most introverts, this experience is realised only in solitude. The effect can be profound; lasting hours, days or even weeks, impacting on their mood, attitude and wellbeing in a positive way. For  introverts like myself, my capacity to understand, forgive, love and cherish comes from my ability to reflect deeply while acknowledging the vulnerabilities/error of our ways(Human Race) and in solitude this capacity is greatly enhanced.

Are introverts Lonely?,  Far from it!! Majority of those i have meet are extremely comfortable in their own skin, confident, imaginative, witty  and do like small talks as long as it doesn’t revolves around the obvious subject which polarize society today.

                 Here are some tips on how to engage an introverts in a conversation: Be imaginative, be opinionated with reasons, be yourself, treat others the way you want to be treated and that means be considerate and polite in the first instance (a core principle all introverts known to me holds dearly).

Remember, He who seeketh an audience with me; if granted; claimeth not a right to that audience, for I granted thee that Privilege.. R.E.(Ruky)

Or in Solitude let us dwell…!!!

Stay True, Stay Proud, Stay Introverted

The Introverts Lounge

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Welcome to The Introverts Lounge. Here at the Lounge we aspire to establish a community for knowledgeable, talented, insightful, passionate and understanding yet easily misunderstood introverts.   

While introversion has been studied by those who dare to understand and in turn, have contributed to our understanding of Introversion today, we at The Introverts Lounge view strongly that there is no better expert on the subject of Introversion in today’s society than introverts themselves.

Introversion knows no boundaries. It identifies with no country, continent, culture, race, gender or age.  It is a way of life and who we are. It is identified by various characteristics in every one of us, but embedded to the extreme in a few of us.

These are the few that are misunderstood in society today dominated by our opposite number (the extroverts) to the point of social stigmatization which often leads to misconstrued views, alienation and stereotypical approaches.

The aim of introverts Lounge is:

  • To positively identify and reinforce the very unique nature of introverts through a journey of understanding and self discovery.
  • To establish an outlet in detail of an alternative way of living from an introverts prospective in so doing educating our opposite number (extroverts), while gaining valuable insight into their complex world.
  • Ultimately, to promote our co-existence with some degree of compromise through understanding, respect and the absence of condescension.

The Introverts Lounge hopes that by collectively working with fellow introverts, we will set the record straight on the various clichés about introverts in our society today while assisting and educating those who seek answers to life’s little dilemmas.

Furthermore, while this remains a blog for the time being. We hope to gradually introduce relevant articles over the next few weeks. The Introverts Lounge team plans to introduce a website in the early new year 2012 which will run alongside the blog providing comprehensive information on issues that matters to you most…. The lounge is a work in progress!! Together, lets embark on a Journey…

With Regards

The Introverts Lounge Team

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