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Posts Tagged ‘define introvert personality’

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Unlike many things in life, introverts largely do not like DRAMAS. They despise it so much so; they would apologies at the slightest indication of pending conflict or trouble and even do as they are told just to keep the peace. It is a trend that has become so startling and common place at work, home, social gatherings and schools. From choosing an holiday location, deciding on what to eat,  group gathering, deciding on what to do, feuding (refuse to take sides with) friends/family or partner.

It’s astonishing, the sacrifices they would make just to prolong that blissful silence and to keep those who grace their company happy. It’s like being caught between a Lion and a Tiger, with the requirement to decide who’s claws  death would be less tragic while wondering what would become of you should you put a foot wrong.

A sense of surrender becomes the only option when faced with upsetting someone; otherwise they are left with an overwhelming sense of guilt even sometime in situations that is of know importance to them. Even Just having a solution to a problem without sharing it acts as a trigger.              

      GUILT!! acquired within reason is understandable. But GUILT for most introverts takes a whole new meaning. They hold being considerate(helpful whenever they can)  and respectful so dearly that when they fall to fulfil that principle/idea, they a riddled with guilt; guilt so powerful and overwhelming that it eats into the very fabric of their being. So overwhelming it last for hours, days, weeks and even months at lengths. However, having spoken to a various individual about this subject over the years, I’ve come realise that even those closer to home are as guilty of manipulating those of us that possess such temperament; directly and indirectly for their sole benefits knowing full well the individual is likely to oblige or succumb to their tricks through a sense of guilt. As for those who are unaware of this innate temperament of introverts, their perception becomes passive ignorance or  commonly becomes associated with stereotype.

Just imagine the number of times at work you’ve been specifically asked to carry out a task which is certainly not of your expertise or job description or still conducting an on-going task while others are standing around doing nothing/ chit-chatting or the number of times a favour has been sought from you under false premise.

Overriding oneselves from this feeling is the ultimate first step in discovering a new dawn. To be successful, one has to be tactful as not to compromise their innate nurture. The solution i found; is what i commonly refer to as my “introverted double. Its like a 3 strike window opportunity before being introduced to my introverted double (The intolerable me  – More on that later).

I found the approach so effective the feeling of overwhelming guilt  subsided. This i believe is due partly because being an introvert that i am; i see how circumstances can easily influence once action and how prone we (the human race) are to misjudgement and mistakes influenced directly and indirectly by circumstance within and outside our control; so much so that i consider a three windows of opportunities before putting my feet down ultimately. Though i must admit, sometimes i still harbour some guilt after its all done and dusted. But unlike before the actions of my introverted double is now a necessity and the outcome reflects that necessity. Whether it includes telling somebody off (and deservedly so) or dealing with corporate organisation/institute over a dispute. Those same subjects/organization eventually sees the error of their ways; becoming more friendlier, polite and talkative in their dealings with me thereafter. Of course there are time when silence is just as effective, but that is rarely the case in this city of mine.

Now! my point here is NOT to discourage anyone from helping those in genuine needs under genuine circumstances or to discourage anyone from being nice (to the few which this term applies); but to highlight a common trait predominantly associated with introverts or anyone else and reinforce the need to work towards breaking that overwhelming feeling of guilty conscience (guilt if i do, guilt of i don’t” feelings). Also to reinforce the message that being considerate, respectful, polite, compassionate and quite should not be misconstrued as weakness and the subject open for exploitation, because without these trait society will be a grim place to exist.

Until Then

Stay True, Stay Proud & Stay Introverted.

The Introvert Lounge

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